Dear Ben Kipronoh,
Firstly, in case you think nobody got the content of your letter or heard anything that you had to say, take heart, I did. And I’d just like to say thanks for giving attempt to educating women folk on what men want. I am not sure though whether your message reached your intended audience. Allow me to try and break it down for you.
Your title may have been misplaced. When you say “A letter to you ladies”, who are you addressing? All ladies? Some ladies? The ones you hang out with? The ones that hang out with you? I won’t be shocked if you’re addressing the women that you see in your circles of influence. I’d encourage you to consider the ones you’re addressing and realize that the ones that don’t fit in the context of our letter are so much more than the ones you have spent so much effort to help.
Women don’t want to be insulted. What makes you think she will listen to you once you insult her? I am sure if I called you a “whore” whether your mannerisms depict that you are or not, you will immediately put up your defenses and will not hear anything else I have to say.
Somewhere further down you say:
“A man really wants a place he can call home, he wants a woman who is modest and can take care of his parents, one with whom the children can confide in, the one he can take major decisions with and tell all his fears. He wants a wife, mother and sister all in one”
I am not sure you want a wife, a mother and a sister all in one, who will you be talking to when you get home?. You seem like a spiritual man, so I am sure you will understand when I say, all I asked God for was a wife who will be my best friend. 11 years of friend ship still going strong, she is nothing like my mother or my sister. Mothers and sisters have their place in the hierarchy of relationships. She will, however be a mother and not a sister to her children.
- Women want a polite humble man who knows who he is and what he is about.
- They want a man who is stable, in life, work and career, they want a man who knows what he wants for his family and will lead his family with determination
- Women want to receive love and affection freely and openly. This comes though the little things like compliments, hugs, conversation, transparency, openness.
- Women don’t want a man who whine, rant and complain daily and not notice their efforts.
Once a man meets this “high level criteria”, she will automatically be that woman that he wants. The attractive wife that will offer domestic support, give you admiration and support. You see, a woman has the unique ability to reciprocate and grow whatever she is given. Give her love, she will love you more. Give her sperm, she gives you a life. Give her nothing, she gives you nothing back. Give her carp, she reciprocates the same.
So this raises the un-ending debate, who is the first that needs to clean up their act, is it the men? Or the women?