Week 09

Just before I started taking dating seriously, I remember being with some friends and we were talking about our crushes. Yes ladies, sometimes out of our busy topic list of cars, sports and politics, we men talk sentimental stuff about our relationships for about five minutes and get back. Anyway I digress, back to my chat with the boys. One of the guys said something that stood out like a sore thumb and I have walked with this timeless piece of treasured advice since then.

“When you are with her, what will you do that will make her feel special?” he asked. This made me purpose to treat my girl special, she was going to get top notch princess treatment. I didn’t realise how much work this would take. Well, as time moved on I eventually wooed a girl and she finally agreed to be my wife.

One day, a few years later in marriage and a baby in the house with the nanny, we went late night shopping to just get away from the weekday norms. As is for most couples, I was the one pushing the trolley as she dumps stuff in it and rattles along with the events of her day. As I participated in the conversation with the occasional; “no way, really?” “Wow that’s great hun” and “uhuh” while browsing my phone, we bumped into my wife’s sister. She was alone pushing her cart and on phone looking for her boyfriend. The distress of a long office day and no boyfriend to push the cart was written all over her face. She saw us and gleamed. Hugs, smiles, chatting, catch-up and then her phone rings. Her man was looking for her and she mentioned the aisle that we were on.

Just as she hung up, he comes round the corner on the other end of the aisle carrying this large bouquet of flowers and wearing a massive toothy smile. Instantly she beamed and ran to him, then did the mushy mushy thing that would be expected and I could bet, her shopping list evaporated from her mind because of those flowers. We looked at them for a moment, and then she looked at me and jokingly said “remember when we were like that?” I responded accordingly but was left thinking. “Dude, you just killed my good husband major, and made me look like a horrible boyfriend”. This was because when we were dating, as a part of making her feel special, I used to buy her a flower, each time we would meet (not because of the sentimental reasons of a single rose but because I rarely had enough money to get a whole bouquet).

Love always makes good impressions. Imagine that long day that you had and you come home to your spouse and they are happy to see you. A broad smile, an enthusiastic hug, just that joy that makes all things seem new. It would lift your spirits wouldn’t it? I must admit, up to the point I was writing this post, I hadn’t realised how badly I have been doing on this aspect of love. As I sit here writing this, I know mostly I should be talking to myself about this. It seems as though, it has been easier in the past few weeks to come home and justify how tired I am with my backed up schedule and how I am running behind with work etc. and generally, I have not been setting that mood on the first impression. I guess I have more work to do this week.

THIS WEEK’S DARE: Think of different ways you would like to greet your spouse. Pick your best one and do it with Enthusiasm. Then, choose to greet your spouse each time in a way that depicts the love that you have for them.

Reflective questions: In what ways does this change the mood in your home? Going forward, how does this affect how you greet your spouse?

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