Picture with me for a moment, Jane married to Jonas. Jane having cheated on Jonas has found a new partner and would like to separate for some time. Imagine the talk that she has with Jonas, the feelings that Jonas has as he comes to terms with what is going on later on in the evening.
Now picture with me situation B. Jonas and Jane hard working at home to be better individuals. Jonas your average man just before marriage, has changed to be that clean cut well groomed and articulate guy in the office, growing in leaps and bounds because of the skills he has learnt at home and the impressive image that his wife has put forward for him. These changes making Jonas get promotions, favors and more attention even from the lady folk in the office could trigger jealousy in the home from Jane.
“Love is as strong a death, its jealousy as unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire” – Song of Solomon 8:6
Jealousy has its perks. The first situation where Jane has removed Jonas from her life and has replaced him with someone else, brings about a situation where the jealousy that Jonas feels is in desiring to get his love back. This type of jealousy is healthy. On the other hand, in situation B, Jane being jealous of her husband, is destructive and causes one to boil up in anger for all the wrong reasons. This has symptoms in snapping unnecessarily at your spouse, discrediting, lack of encouragement, lack of respect, and the list goes on.
See the way jealousy is designed, you cannot be jealous of some random stranger, you can only be jealous of those around you. This calls for us to step up to the plate. Both husbands and wives. The day you said “I do”, part of your job is to be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. This is one of the greatest rewards you can give them. Men, you know how much girls love to be complimented, not because they don’t know how good they look or how hard they’ve worked etc, but because it helps build a closeness and intimacy. And ladies, you know that a man’s ego is the easiest way to motivate him, not because he is a puppet to play around with, but because he values anything that he puts his focus on and needs recognition especially when he feels he hasn’t done it right, or when he knows he has made a mistake.
THIS WEEK’S DARE: determine to become your spouse’biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy. Take last week’s list of negative attributes of your spouse and discretely destroy it. This is the first step in setting your heart on focusing on their achievements. Begin to share with your spouse how glad you are about a recent success that your they have enjoyed.
Reflective Questions: What are some of the thoughts you experienced as you destroyed the list? What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your spouse? How can you engage them toward future success?
The Love Dare series https://samkitots.wordpress.com/category/love-dare/ (samkitots.wordpress.com)
Love is not jealous http://njorogejustus.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/the-love-dare-love-is-not-jealous-day-8/ (njorogejustsus.wordpress.com)