A couple of weeks back we visited that feeling that comes when we first meet the person of our dreams, we get all caught up in each other’s lives and are all excited about it. Ever asked yourself, how did you know that they were the one? When a guy is asking a girl out, how does she know that she is the one he wants? Why does the girl say yes? Is there some sort of leakage that we have? Well. I think so.
You might think that girls are the only ones who sit with flowers, plucking petals “he loves me, he loves me not” well guys do that too… only this time we pull out spokes from our bikes, or roll a dice. No I’m just kidding. The point is we all have a romanticising aspect of ourselves. You see how girls dream of their weddings from when they are 8 years old? yes, well it happens to guys too, only a little later.
” How precious also are Your thoughts to me… how vast is the sum of them! if I should count the, they would outnumber the sand.” – Psalm 139:17-18
See we all get infatuated with the “thought” of love even before we meet our spouse. And even when we finally gather the courage to start dating each other, you lie awake on late night calls, saying lots of sweet nothings, texting each other during the day. As you grow together, your partner becomes the first person you want to tell about a promotion, about when you’re having a bad day, etc. You spend time after the late night calls, lying in bed thinking about them. .
When we were dating, I caught on to a lovely habit of calling her on her 10am tea break that scored me some serious points, I must admit that after a while, I stopped just to see if she would return the favour, instead she complained that I have not been calling her now we call each other. The point is not that I was calling, but that we call each other. Showing each other that we care and are thinking about each other. The competition is now, who will call first.
Love is thoughtful
A large number of us make the mistake of not being thoughtful of our spouse after marriage. It becomes easy to forget that we lay awake thinking of how best to fulfil the needs of our spouse. What happens? What causes you to stop? We pulled out all the stops to get married, to show off our spouse, why not do the same to keep them?
So gents, rather than thinking and communicating in headlines and getting frustrated when she is talking in parables and ladies rather than getting upset when he doesn’t read between the lines; this thoughtful aspect of love will allow communication lines to open up. It then causes a realisation that special meaning is added to each action thus fanning that love flame once again.
THIS WEEKS DARE: Make deliberate effort to contact your spouse at a random point in the day, no special agenda, just call them to find out how their day is going. Then find out if there is anything specific you could do for them. As you do this consider making this a regular habit or a routine.
- A selfless kind of love (samkitots.wordpress.com)
- A key pillar to discovering what love is (samkitots.wordpress.com)
- Love Dare, re-discovering love, an introduction (samkitots.wordpress.com)
- When love is no longer about you (samkitots.wordpress.com)