Single high power diva’s will they ever get a man after their own heart? This question was the subject of a hot topic one day. The super-powerful mami with that big car, that overbearing job title that has some long words in it suggesting that the paycheck is equally long before the decimal point. Why is it that some of these “super-achievers” seem to have it all together, yet deep down inside they struggle pretty-woman-thinkingwith the fact that it is hard to get a man? That husband material kind of guy? She argues that she just wants someone to love her, not an equal paycheck. Why do men shay away from this woman?

There is the argument that whereas a man may hang out with all kinds of feminine friends he will eventually settle with the lady that “grew up” with him. Here growing is in reference to the chick that saw him and was with him when he had nothing and was with him through thick and thin. The other point that came across in the discussion is that a guy doesn’t want a mami who has already reached. He wants to be the knight in shining armor that will take her to where she is meant to “reach”. This mami who has already reached is not going to be wowed by any achievement of the guy. This then moved the discussion from not only divas, but that lady who has focused on her studies and career to a point she is satisfied and is now on the market looking for a man, between her late 20’s and mid 30’s, she seems to be having trouble finding that right guy, Mr husband material. The PlayingCardsdiscussion then led towards a direction indicating that most relationships that start at a university level in early 20’s last longer because the couple have nothing together, graduate together and grow together.

BLOGGERS CHALLENGE: Whereas these opinions may hold validity, I don’t think we left having answered the original thought line. What are women looking for in relationships? What are the guys afraid of? How can she get that guy? What is a man really after in a relationship? Do guys in their mid-late 30’s also struggle? Consider a date already setup between Tracey and Joe; or maybe they happen to be in the same social setting (at a bar, friends baby’s party, whatever) both working class, early 30’s. Blog your response and paste the link in the comments section here. Read other peoples thoughts and comment on their posts. Let’s go for it shall we?


5 thoughts on “Where is Mr(s) Right?

  1. Is it hard to find a man? A good man to settle down with? I think the question should be, Are you making it hard to be found? Being an over achiever is not the point. At least I hope it shouldn’t be. If you love someone it shouldn’t matter whether their achievements are huge or not. After all, if a man wants to be loved when he has nothing then he shouldn’t be intimidated by a woman who has achieved much.

    At the end of the day, the man should be sooo confident when he’s persuing her to an extent that he’ll keep pushing until he lands his lass. In some traditional stories men fought to the death just to prove who was man enough for a woman’s love. So if confidence is too much to ask then the men are the ones with the issue.

    I know women who would be willing to take so much baggage from a man after they get to know him. Even when at first she didn’t think he was packaged right for her, her mind is slowly changed by his confidence and persistence that he believes he deserves her and no one else should have what he wants.

    Problems begin when the man finally bags the girl and now lets his insecurities take over. When a man shows such weakness then of course the attraction will be lost. And months later he’ll be wondering what happened?

    There is no perfect man/woman. She/he will either be an under/overachiever, there will be even bigger strengths/weaknesses to deal with but the decision is yours to make whether its worth it or not. Everything else is just an excuse.

  2. Mr(s) Right.
    Is this title a fallacy? I do not entirely believe in such a term. When does a person want to settle with someone after knowing them for how long?
    Are relationships a waste of time or are they not? I have no idea on that one maybe we and I are trying to understand what truly it is but what I do know or rather think is that at the end the end game should be companionship or isn’t that the case?
    I heard this quote and I thought, “Many men make the mistake that the women they are with might just not be that into them and many women mistake men’s kindness for flirtation.” Ai, I would rather think not.
    Anyway I tend to think all this about Mr or Mrs Right is pure fictitious fairy tales. Fairy – tales no do exist and pun intended most of do believe they exist anyway most females. I purely blame this on princess and the pea and the likes of such drivel that is drummed into us from such a tender age.
    I am not a good communicator, which I know without having to be told anything. (I have no idea if that is correct English) I am not good with matters of the heart but hear goes.
    We all live the life of a drifter waiting for the day that something will happen or maybe that special person but sometimes I think we go too overboard thinking it is all in the hands of fate, we can’t be soldiers of fortune and Deep Purple sang it best, as we grow older maybe we grow wiser but what I suggest if you want the right person we must ask ourselves are we willing to the extra mile and hear the yes or no answer from the other party.
    This is where we fail as people; we say there is no one there out for us but how many people have ever thought of asking someone they like out without having the fear of their ego or pride being bruised?
    I guess we fear the unknown then from afar we watch the person that we like with someone else and we get so annoyed, so much bile that can stay put in our livers or it pancreas, ooh my biology is so off at this point. If you want that person ask for what you do not know will not hurt you at all. Do not be afraid, they will not land in your laps. The person you look over could be the person, remember there is nothing like manna from heaven, and make your own manna just as they say we should make lemonade or something of the sort.
    So my dear people subtleness is required but not blatant suggestiveness. Ask someone what is the worst that can happen. Do not like someone from afar take a chance better not to live in regret. Then when you are in the game ask yourself are you in it for the long haul or not? Best advice I got from a pal is look at their flaws and ask yourself if you can live with them if they can’t change. Remember friendship above all else it will outstrip anything just like turpentine.
    But the question is if you think you are with your person the right person if, you say the stars allow, how long is long a year, two years ten years? Maybe as my friend says maybe one wants to grow with the other party they see you from when you were nothing and grow into something better with them.
    What happens if someone else tags along carries you into a wave and you are left in turmoil thinking maybe this is not it? There is nothing sweet about relationships I have they are work and need a lot of effort out in and the worst is patience, which I think not many possess I being a culprit I think.
    If there is a lesson to be learnt do not let the world turn you upside down. Get your words right and run to whom you have a shine on or rather taken a fancy to. Say those words then if all goes well lucky you. If nothing does turn out right you can move on knowing you tried. Risk a bit, out of it something may turn out right. Live with no regrets, do not say maybe.
    Maybe is a word for the lost, spilt milk. Do not let things complicate you and do not underestimate life and yourself.
    Mr or Mrs Right is you yourself and whom you make it to be. There is no perfect person out there. Do not be afraid when you are with your person waiting thinking you can bait time. Your person can get restless. Take a chance, dive. Do not wait up thinking to see the true measure if you know what you want for as you wait time will overtake you. Events will surpass you and you will be left in limbo.
    Thus, in short words all I wanted to say the right person does not exist it is what you make them to be that then they become right for you. It therefore be anyone.

  3. I am a woman who has been put in that bracket by people around me-career-oriented, over-achiever for my age (almost 30), and blah blah. I have actually been told that men fear me because of these. I have been asked to tone down a little bit….slow down kidogo.

    So, i asked myself several questions: Should I not excel in my own capacity because i want to get a man? Should i not live in a good house or drive a good car all because I want a man not to be afraid of me?
    I, then, told myself that I will trust God for a man who does not feel intimidated because God has blessed me in my singlehood. I kept on praying.

    I have found a man who does not have much in terms of education or money. Nevertheless, this man caught my attention. Why? He is so confident of himself. He believes in himself. He says he is not less of a man just because he does not have what I have. He says his present situation does not define him.

    This is a man i would like to give a chance to.

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