After a guest post by iWIDEdj titled Chasing princess charming, we can consider this part two after several respondents had questions.

First things first let me get it out of the way, I don’t believe in the Mr Right or Ms Right. The notion that there that there is only one person meant for you is a farce. It would take a lifetime for me to date the more than 6 billion people on this planet so that I can find Ms Right. You will only settle with the one that is in your space at the right time.

Secondly; this whole “Shrek theme” of romance where we have the prince charming coming up to get the princess, and they fall in love at first (or tenth) sight is a facade for many. For few they are able to evade the smoke and mirrors and they find their love early enough in life and they are able to grow together.

On to the crux of the matter; now that we know that Mr/s Right doesn’t exist, romance at first sight is a tale of smoke and mirrors and that we are left with a large bung of frustrated people. The question begs, what is the next step? How does one find the right/perfect (wo)man? Some consider looking to the stars for answers (yes, you that looks at horoscopes) whereas others figure that dating anyone that comes along is the best way to prepare, practice makes perfect right? careful, your answer just might get you to crash and burn.

Its taking so long to find the perfect partner

Be ready to be dated – ask yourself, would you date you? Prepare yourself for the cold had truth, maybe you just aren’t ready. What is it about you that turns people off? What do they like? This mirrored view of yourself allows you to know where your strengths and weaknesses and you can prepare yourself

The ghastly checklist – whereas ladies understand this character trait checklist, men don’t. Guys are very “go with the flow”. The checklist has its ups and downs. Don’t keep too strict to the checklist, lest the right person is deterred by it, but then again don’t ignore it so that you are able to identify Mr/s right when they come along. Adopt a blend of the two approaches.

Hang out in the right places – at a friend’s wedding one day, the priest was giving advice to the singles and said “If you meet him/her late night on the rave, what are the chances that after you get married s/he will be coming home late because that is what they are used to doing?” it sounds rather incorrect but what are the chances that your checklist describes someone who goes to church, or volunteers at an animal shelter, children’s home or at an NGO? Very high right?

I’ve done everything by the book, guy, just aren’t hitting on me – Anon

Ladies, a little leakage: Contrary to popular opinion, guys don’t necessarily go to search for their love, they sort of rely on chance to meet a woman that will say yes, whether he walks up to you and starts up a conversation or if he is that guy who has been checking out the woman for a long time. It is because of this reliance on chance that guys sort of “wing-it” with girls. He may or may not know how to treat her, but guys need some slack in their dating clumsiness, they probably face more rejection than women do. You see, guys walk around with this weighty expectation that all women laud over them to “meet the checklist”. When rejected by one woman, he has to man-up and get back into the game. Subconsciously, men too have expectations ie a list. This may come as a shock, but guys simply want a girl who is herself, who is real with herself.

This however is no excuse for men to put their backs into it when romancing a woman. See in as much as it is easy to give up and just go with the flow, guys must understand that women have the long term in view when they are getting into a relationship. So if your the gnarly types that make a woman sneer when you walk up to her saying “Izzzhaaao? Siii we go catch a pint like this ama?” you probably had it coming when she said no. Women have a screening process, they can tell from a distance if a dude is going to waste her time. Granted there are some really good liars out there, but dudes generally need to up their game in dating manner. Those simple things will get a woman, the hand written notes, the picnic basket (with content of course) among others. But most of all a woman just wants a friend.

Like a friend of mine once said “Dating and relationships are no simple task.”

4 thoughts on “Why you’re really single

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