So you’re a nice guy and you want to be her friend. She’ll friend zone you with all she’s got and this isn’t on purpose; she just does it by mistake. You’ll know everything about her in the shortest time that any guy would know, you’ll even get introduced to her family and bond with her mother, and guess what? You’ll score points with mum too. Boss, don’t let this be a false green for you. Because now, you’re platonic friends, she’ll tell you about that guy she has a crush on, she’ll get you to go shipping with her, you’ll help her swoon over magazine cut-outs of “Perfect man”, you’ll be there for her when her crush breaks her heart, and so on and so forth, you get it, you’ll be her boyfriend but not her boyfriend..

But we aren’t here to talk about you. The story is rather different for girls. Despite the saying, “nice guys finish last”, does it then follow that “nice girls finish last”?

So here’s something new for you Mr, you’re busy whining as the nice guy, there’s probably a nice girl hanging around you. The thing with girls is that when they want a man they can be brash and explicitly open about it with the guy or she will go for the “nice girl routine”. Few girls go for a guy ki-thorax, mostly coz they haven’t mastered the art of being confident yet subtle, they come across as alpha-females, and guys are afraid of alpha-female. That is for discussion another day.

Do you have that chick pal who will drop everything she is doing to come chill with you when you’re down, she takes you to scout places for a date, tells you what best thing to get as a present. She probably knows what you’re looking for in a girl and she even recommends certain girls in your life to be your girlfriend. Yep, you’re looking at her, SHE is that nice girl.

You see nice girls are selfless, kind, and always there for you, whole heartedly, they would rather hurt in pain of not having you as a boyfriend because of fear. Fear grips this girl so much she can’t open up her heart to say how she feels unless you start first. This is an awkward predicament because she will make sure that you never know. I recently did a post for Potentash and a good chunk of the respondents said that the good girls keep quiet because of fear.

I agree. Fear of rejection is one of the most gripping fears that man experiences. Society teaches us that the man should do the chasing, the proclaiming of love, but what if it is the woman who likes the guy? Is she allowed to proclaim her feelings too? Yes. Only that she wasn’t taught how to. The biggest mistake she makes is keeping her feelings to herself, and then she drops clues. Unfortunately, guys are no good with clues.

In a day and age where the aggressive get what they want and when they want it in the office, in the sports track and heck even in relationships, one begs the question do good guys/girls really exist?.

good_girls_are_bad_girls_bumper_sticker

The aggressive nature of our society demands that everyone run and jumps to get what they want. Rules don’t seem to apply anymore. Ladies are dropping their pants at work to get promotions. virginity and/or Christian values are looked upon as good theories and even in some cases as jokes that only work in a perfect world. Where is this perfect world because clearly it isn’t here?

That perfect is world is what you make it. Good/nice girls exist. Yes, as do good/nice guys. Where to find them will be the subject of another post. Nice girls don’t finish last; they’re in a marathon while everyone else is doing the short races. They have been there all the time. Nice girls are always first, they make effort to get in the man’s space. The subtle ones play the long game. Just like guys have a fear of rejection and they still come out and proclaim their feelings, you are allowed to do so. So dear nice girl, you can never be sure how he (that nice guy you fell for) feels about you until you open up and be vulnerable too.

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11 thoughts on “Nice guys finish last, what about nice girls?

    1. I agree with your take… Surprising we wrote on the same topic on the same day. Nice girls will always be nice girls, first or last, the reward of the nice girl always trumps the bad girl

  1. interesting . the unwritten rule that the man has to ask is just a convention, can be broken. Just like the way a woman doesn’t like a desperate man it’s the same the other way round. She has to do it in a balanced manner . I agree why does it have to be the man who always takes the risk?

  2. I actually know what you are talking about, the fear is so real and almost tangible :-)! In most cases,its not that we cant be aggresive,its just that we fear being branded b**ches!! How do you still retain your femininity and still be agressive!?

  3. I had one of those nice girl friends. We did a lot of things together, hanged out, talk about our dates, advised each other, ….the works. I made the tragic mistake one day of asking her out. Our friendship was hurt and almost completely lost in the process! It took 2 [darn] years for it to be restored. We are now good friends, even though she is currently wasting her time on some rich bloke who will ….ok, you get the point.
    I find it hard [the actual words are nearly impossible] to trust someone else. I can’t seem to shake the perceived feeling of security and trust that I have in some of my female friends. Some of them are ‘tragically’ single or are in relationships that are headed for the dead end, if not already. Many times, I feel compelled to “rescue” them, but then there is only one way to do that. Only I would have to run the risk of loosing the friendship altogether, which is currently a paralyzing fear.
    So, I am of the view that nice girls finish last. It shouldn’t be the case, but that’s just what it is.

  4. There are too many girls whose hearts have been broken because of playing the nice girl, who has to risk her heart and most likely get rejected. I would not advice anyone to be any man’s nice girl. If he is not stepping up, then he’s just not that into you. And many singles are defrauding one another emotionally getting close without the intent of a relationship. That was never God’s design.
    http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2008/not-your-buddy

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