by Antoinette Prophy

I absolutely love rainy weather but it has this funny introspective effect on me. I’m laying in bed reading Spud and my mind drifts off to my past relationships. Some left an indelible mark on my heart, my soul and my programming for good. No matter how hard I try to erase, expunge or obliterate it stays edged in the pages, chapters and verses of my life. I’ve decided to take a closer look at them and figure out precisely why. I’ve changed their names, wouldn’t want any breakups over nothing now.

Matthew is the educated foreigner with an impressive resume, absolutely delicious in every possible way and was blessed with that sweep-you-off-your-feet charm. It was the way he looked at me as if I was the only woman in the room that got me totally whipped, okay maybe it was the glorious sex too. He cared about me like nobody’s ever done but his inability to tell me he loved me, to actually utter the words brought us to a grinding halt. The thing about being whipped is that it implies pain in one form or the other so after an intense two year relationship, you best believe there was a bucket load of pining, perishing and agony. He had an uncanny way of pushing me to develop me so he was a catalyst for my growth beyond my wildest dreams.

I met Mark two months after breaking up with Matthew so guess he was my rebound guy, which is probably the saddest thing ever cos I think he’s the one who got away. Mark is every woman’s dream, he is educated, an over-achiever of note, super hot, so funny and nothing can replace a guy who makes you laugh at life, hardship and sometimes yourself. He wasn’t intimidated by my independence and he was totally unperturbed by my crazy until the day I stood him up for dinner and couldn’t call coz the battery on my cell died. Needless to say we couldn’t get pass that. He restored my love for reading by introducing me to Miss Kwa Kwa by Stephen Simms. Now I cant do without my monthly dose of local literature.

After Mark, I decided to throw myself even deeper into work and it paid off in so many ways but I was getting a lil dull. After shooting a TV commercial, my copywriter invited me to drinks at his cousin’s place and this is where I met Luke. He was by far the most pleasant guy I’ve dated especially since he comes from a prominent family and could have been a complete jack-ass. He was only 25 and I was on the verge of turning 30. I decided what the hell let’s do this, I turned 30 with a young one draped all over me (guess it’s a sure way to defy aging). He was incredibly patient with me being busy and taking myself too seriously, wanting to be the next big thing in the advertising space. The age difference got in the way so we didn’t last but he awakened my soul to the possibility that I could enjoy life and be successful all at the same time.

A few months later, I’m chilling at the Tourism Indaba in Durban with a few colleagues enjoying a glass of bubbly in the smouldering humidity when John calls. Now, I’ve chatted to John about a million times before but never met him. It turns out he’s also in Durban and he joins us for some bubbles. As he’s walking towards me I get totally drawn to him like a moth to flame. His big brown eyes pulled me in so deep; my colleagues asked several times if I was okay. I swear his eyes alone have the ability to put a spell on you. He enjoys yoga and meditates so a gentle soul who has an insane love for the outdoors. He is a published author and has a way with words that melted this ice queen. He lived in another province so we gave the long distance relationship a shot, something I swore I’d never do but hey this was yummy John. It was perfect coz we were both extremely busy and hooking up over the weekends and turning them into our own long weekends was remarkable. It couldn’t last but John instilled in me an insane appreciation for nature, the outdoors and our beautiful country.

There have been more guys and I’m sure there’ll be a few more (phew hopefully only a few more) but reflecting on these relationships gives me a sense of contentment knowing I’ve attracted some incredible people into my sacred space. The notion that you will kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince is ludicrous, these guys had a few prince like qualities perfectly suited for me at that particular time in my life. Remember, you attract who you are.

About the Author.

Antoinette Prophy is an entrepreneur by DNA. Passionate Afro-Optimist. Golfer. Realist. Always enjoys a good laugh. Doesn’t do husbands. Learning to be in the now. Loves a good book. Catch her also on Facebook.

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