An earlier post by @SueBuku generated content and has gotten her into a series that I had started writing, I however will share mine later. Here is part two – Love is blind.
So if you were swept off your feet the right way, you should be airborne by now. (The song by Peabo Bryson where Aladdin is on a carpet comes to mind). And if you haven’t been playing mind games with each other (which I detest btw), then you’re probably now in a relationship or something close. You no longer wonder whether he/she loves you or not. It is obvious to you both and all around you. You have VERBALLY agreed to be in that relationship (or something). You have stopped praying for a partner.
This is the stage where this person couldn’t be more funny, more handsome, more beautiful, more intelligent, more everything. This person is just perfect. You love each other to death and can’t imagine being apart. You talk in the morning and evening at the very least. For others it’s chat/sms all day. Mobile networks are very happy. You yourself, are beside yourself with happiness despite spending tonnes of money on airtime. TGIF is for real, because you really can’t wait to hang out with this person without worrying about waking up early the next day. You now have a nice-to-have-problem of making time for your friends and relatives in your busy weekend schedule.
To both ladies and gents, I have learnt that this is the time to ask ALL the awkward questions. Ask about someone’s past, their family, their career, their schooling, their friends, their finances, their future plans, their worries, their fears. This is the point where people are so open because they know they will not be judged and you do really love them as they are. And at this point is also when you are willing to accept the person as they are and vice versa for you. I have found that as relationships progress, some doors close especially once reservations about certain issues begin to arise, do not be afraid to ask.
Ladies are especially always afraid to ask about past relationships, and later resort to NCIS/NSIS to find out about this chic in the guy’s life in a bid to answer questions that were never asked. ASK! This btw, is not to say that questions should not continue being asked during the relationship, do continue asking. There is however no guarantee that these questions will be answered as honestly as at the beginning of the relationship.
I have found that any stands/values revealed at this stage are unlikely to change because this is the person you’re dating in their truest form. What is said at this time especially about their future plans regarding career, marriage, lifestyle,will not change even though you may not like it and it is never mentioned or implied again. Women will tend to ‘shelve’ their dreams to keep the relationship, but men rarely do. So listen carefully, and see if the dreams of your partner are what you can live with.
This is also a good time to set boundaries. It is a good time to learn what your partner likes and doesn’t like. It is a good time to tell them what you like and don’t like. Mind you you’re not sitting them down with a list of dos and don’ts. It comes as part of conversation as you talk about yourselves and get to know each other. Don’t just stare mindlessly, LISTEN. This way you start to know what your partner expects and whether or not you can fulfill it.
Lastly, enjoy this phase. It is sweet and often too short.